Exploring the creative side of me

For a number of months now I have been thinking about things I could do once treatment ends.

One of the things I would like to do is to make some sort of photo collage kind of (dare I say art work? I'm not much of an artist though) creation that we could hang on the wall.

Yes it is easy to say "let's just get the experience behind us, forget that it was ever part of us, get back our lives", but the truth is that we will never again have the life we had before, the normal we knew before Bianca became sick. The day she was diagnosed, our lives changed forever. This journey became part of us, it shaped us in a way and I guess will determine the way forward. I don't think we will ever be able to just put it behind us and forget about it. Bianca will need checkups until she is an adult, there will always be the lookout for signs and symptoms, the worry that it may come back. Fair enough the checkups will become less frequent as we go forward, I guess we will become more at ease over time, but it will always be part of us.

And this is part of her memories, she doesn't remember a different life, this is her story, her life the past 2 years. I could never deny that it happened. She may very well have questions when she becomes older and so I will always acknowledge that it was part of us. I want to always acknowledge how incredibly brave Bianca was and is, what an amazing little girl she was and is, the inspiration she has been to us. So I want to make something we can hang on the wall. Something that will show snippets of the treatments and procedures, but then highlight the more normal things she did like going to school, playing at the park and so on, her beautiful smile. I guess that she was able to live life despite dealing with cancer. I want to incorporate the concept of her beads (not her original set though) and the total number of days we walked this journey until treatment ends.

So I have all these ideas swimming in my mind and with end of treatment date just around the corner (tomorrow exactly 62 days or if you prefer 2 months or if you rather prefer 9 weeks away - so whichever way you look at it, not that long from now). And I will start sifting through the hundreds (maybe more) photos we took since Bianca was diagnosed and start playing around to see what I could do and what might work. So if you have cool ideas, please do share.

And then I will also start to think about what we can actually do to mark the end of treatment. Some people have parties that they share with others to celebrate the end of treatment, others prefer something quieter, and others don't want to do anything at all. I do think we will want to do something, but not quite sure what yet. So lots to think about and I'm hoping for an "ah-ha kind of moment". But it is cool that we are at the point where we can dream and think about these things, to have that end of treatment date well within sight. It seems almost unreal.


Anonymous said...

Lea, I can't help you with your endeavors regarding making something wonderful and permanent for Bianca as she nears her end of treatment, but I am so happy to see that ticker with only 2 months to go. You and your family have done a remarkable job with Bianca's journey and sharing your fears, joys and tribulations with us. My hopes for you and your family are limitless. You all have come so far in these 2+ yrs and deserve only the best. You have my respect and admiration always. Good luck with your ideas for Bianca's off treatment milestone/celebration. I am sure you will do something that will be perfect!
Thinking of you
Rosemary NY

superrelish said...

What about a coffee table book with photos, stories and letters in it? It is something that you could all make together and have printed.

I hope that the last few months of treatment fly by with ease.

Annie - Steven's mom said...

Oh Lea

I just love that there is now space in your mind, soul and heart to discover your creative side again! That is just totally wonderful and a testament to how well you, and the rest of your family, have come through these past 2 years and become stronger and no doubt, more creative because of it.

I would also have some professional photos done with all of you together - your family has grown, physically, literally and figuratively speaking and is even more intact than ever before.

Well done - I look forward to seeing your work, I just know its going to be great! :)

Sending you a huge hug with happy tears in my eyes


Anonymous said...

just me, Jody, I had an idea, don't know if you would want to do it, but you could make a memory box of somekind and bury it somewhere and then dig it up in like 10 years, well maybe make 2 and just keep on in case you lose the other one haha. I can't believe Bianca is almost done her treatment. I miss all of you and send hugs