Some people...

Ooh, it seems I have stepped on some toes and offended a certain anonymous person when I wrote about Polly and her baby-advice. And so typical - you feel so strongly about this that you come onto my blog to argue your point and to tell the other commenters off for their comments, but you don't even have the decency to leave your name (now that's not very respectful is it?). It is true, I don't have knowledge of this particular philosophy that you harp on about. What I did say was that Polly mentioned certain things that I (in my experience the past 6 years) do not agree with. She made comment in that article that kids should never be restrained in a high chair - really? So how do you propose a small baby and even an older baby who might fall off a proper chair and hurt themselves should join in with the family meal? Would you rather they fall off the chair, bump their head or would you rather they run around when they are supposed to eat and choke on the food that is in their mouth? Well, I would rather my child be in a high chair, be safe, learn that you are not supposed to run around with food in your mouth and learn that as a family it is important to eat together. As I explained, I have actually had to run after Bianca when she was very small still (she started walking at 10 months) and she didn't like sitting still ever. And I have had to try and feed her as she was moving around - it doesn't work, trust me. So by the way, neither of my kids are in a high chair anymore just in case you thought they were.

Yes, I agree that one should show your kids respect, but when they are very little and wake up in the middle of the night there is no time to sit and take forever discussing what you need to do and then to wait for their response. You have not ever heard Bianca when she woke up as a tiny little baby wanting her bottle and wanting it NOW. She wasn't up for discussion or negotiation. Simple as that. And quite honestly she had a need and I met it, and that was important.

I have always shown my kids respect. However, the article pretty much expressed how only the child and the child's needs are important. Well, I think that a child forms part of a family unit and therefore needs to learn to also work well with the other members of the family and they also need to learn to respect the other people around them, just as the rest of us need to respect the child. And so when it comes down to i.e. restraining them in a high chair at meal times or not, well, I see absolutely no problem with doing that. At least my kids learned that when we sit down to meals, all of us matter and all of us deserve respect.

And of course I totally disagree with Polly's viewpoint that one should never praise things that are supposed to come naturally - why should I ignore Caitlyn's efforts with i.e. her toilet training? It deserves praise. It deserves recognition. Success with that gives her a sense of achievement and I think that is very important too.

Whoever you are, my children are well-behaved, they are confident, they are happy, they laugh a lot, they play a lot, but they also know acceptable behaviour at home and about. My kids have great manners and I have had strangers comment on that because it just comes naturally for them. The other day Caitlyn chose to help put some dishes from the dishwasher away and I thanked her and my 2 year old then said "you're welcome Mommy". It wasn't a prompt from my side, it was because we do this with our kids all the time, we lead by example. Just as we expect them to say thank you and please, they expect us to say the same to them.

I never criticised this philosphy - I commented on Polly's comments in the article and how she doesn't seem to have kids of her own and yet, seems to want to tell parents what to do. Parents with actual day to day in the home experience.

I'm sorry if I offended you by not agreeing with Polly (who obviously seems to be your idol or hero or something) - perhaps the two of you should get together at some point. I bet you would have lots to talk about.

I however, know that I am doing a great job with my kids, even if you might not feel the same.

Now just for the record, I'm tired of people like this anonymous person coming onto my blog leaving these kind of comments without even having the decency or respect to leave their name, so I have changed the way you are able to leave comments, you will now have to be registered with a Google Account. This blog is and was and always will be based on our opinion whether you agree with it or not. It is a blog, not a discussion forum. As I said before to the other "anonymous" if you don't like what I write, you don't have to visit my blog.


Sharon said...

I agree - lead by example!
We all sat in high chairs and learnt to say please and thank you and we turned out alright. In this day and age, everyone is trying to make a child grow up way too fast and they lose what it means to be a child. Be a child for as long as possible because it is difficult to be an adult.
Please give the girls an extra special hug.

Kristy said...

Very well said!! It always amazes me the so called 'experts' have no practical experience in child raising or reality. To many progressive parents are so worried about offending their children, that they raise offensive brats. It's sad.. I have a google account but am also on HSB.. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/passionforpurple.com

The Clam said...

*sigh* I firmly believe that blogging is a form of conversation, but like all conversation ppl should not say anythign if they don't have anything nice to say. Sorry you had to change the dynamics of your blog cos of two assholes.


Sue, Joe and Michael Webber said...

As an adult lifelong preschool worker, I too despair of these 'experts' they don't realise that we have to deal with some of these children who have no boundaries set. As for anonymous, don't read what ya don't like eh! lol

Annie - Steven's mom said...

Beautifully said and its always great to read about parents that care enough for their kids to raise them right and also use common sense! It's very obvious you guys are doing it right.

I simply delete any comment on my blog that crosses the decency boundary and I won't comment on it. Seems to me that so many just want a reaction and the attention that comes with that... I don't do that any more..

To change the way I do things because of a few people who I will never meet and never agree with, just does not sit well with me... sounds too much like they are winning something.. I love my delete button on the computer!

And again - well said, Leah - your girls are simply gorgeous and you are all setting a wonderful example for more people than you realize....

love and light