Monday, 6 August 2007

Today is exactly 2 months since the first chemo treatment. It is starting to feel "normal" now, but there are still times when my mind tries to find an easy way out, a short-cut and then I realise that there is no early break from this "prison sentence".

Bianca is still in hospital, not sure when she will be discharged. They say she has some kind of viral infection, but they have not established what type. She is receiving antibiotics at the moment and was due for a chemo session today, but because her levels are not yet where they should be, her treatment will now be delayed a little bit. I feel frustrated and at times it feels as if we would never be able to get home again. And I was really hoping we wouldn't have any delays - I just want to get on with it and get it all done...

Caitlyn is still with me this week and hopefully next week will be able to go back to daycare. They had a case of chickenpox and then we needed to keep Caitlyn out of daycare to try and prevent her getting the disease. I am just glad Caitlyn is not yet mobile because at the moment I can still safely leave her on the bed knowing that she would just stay there.

It is pretty hard having to take care of Caitlyn the whole day and looking after Bianca in the hospital. So by the end of the day when Terence arrives I am ready to pass her to him and just take a break. Usually just a short break because then I have to go home, feed and bath Caitlyn, get her to bed and then my work begins - I have to wash clothes, iron work clothes for Terence, pack bags to take to hospital again, try and clean up and do some of the usual household type of stuff, wash bottles, pack a baby bag and if I am good, then everything ready at the door for the next morning. Then there is night feeding and then early next morning going back to the hospital. And then tomorrow we do it all again!

It sure isn't an easy journey, but it is manageable. Wonder if I will collapse at the end of the treatment when I have time to really sit and think and comprehend what we went through.