A bitter-sweet weekend

The fun part was that Bianca was not neutropenic, so we managed to do a whole lot of fun stuff. Yesterday afternoon we all went to Staglands. It is quite a drive, but is a really nice peaceful place where you get to see different animals, and you are even able to feed them. Sanna and Sandrea came with us.

Of course Caitlyn became a bit frustrated because she wasn't really able to walk much and it isn't much fun being strapped in when it is so much better being able to walk. There is an enclosed area called "The Secret Garden" and we were able to let Caitlyn walk a little bit in this part.

And then we visited the one place we just cannot stay away from - the hospital. This time Kenepuru Hospital. Late in the afternoon Terence had really shallow, wheezy breathing and so we decided to go to Kenepuru in the evening. Of course they thought we were a bit nuts taking photos of the experience, but it's all part of our story at the end of the day. They suspect either a viral infection or possibly late onset asthma, so for the next little while Terence will be using an asthma pump several times a day and then from there the doctor can then diagnose the problem. I suspect it is asthma and it doesn't help that they are building around us, as it is practically impossible to avoid dust.

This morning Terence took Bianca and Sandrea to the movies. Bianca loves going to the "real movies", eating popcorn and ice cream. So they had great fun.

On the way back they stopped off at Queen Elizabeth Park where there were some things happening and there were some horses, an old tram and a bouncy castle.

Then tonight we had a final goodbye supper at home to say goodbye to Sanna. She will be flying tomorrow morning really early and so this was the very last chance to say goodbye. It feels really sad and words can never express just how much she means to us. Words can never express the difference she made in our lives. We were so blessed to have the chance to meet Sanna. Thank you Sanna for being there for us, through the ups and the downs, for brightening our days and for being a "like big sister" to my children. We wish you could stay and we hope you are able to visit us really soon!

And now introducing Sandrea who will be with us for the next month:

Tonight I heard a comment from somebody who mentioned that she finds it quite frustrating now during the school holidays with craft stuff lying all over and finding ways to entertain the kids. I didn't say anything, but I would give anything to have craft stuff lying all over at home instead of on a hospital bed, and wondering what I could do with my kids during school holidays, instead of wondering how to entertain my kid when she is hooked to an IV line and in isolation. If there is anything this journey has taught me it is that you should never take for granted what you have.

When you wonder what to do with your kids during school holidays, it means they are able to go to school, when they have stuff lying all over, it means that they are at home able to enjoy those things. Certainly before Bianca became sick, life was pretty hectic. We were always rushing from one thing to another, one moment to another.

This journey has taught us to slow down and not get frustrated when we don't always manage the house work, the tidying and cleaning as well as we can. This journey has taught us to enjoy every moment we have with our children, because the only certainty in this game is "now". After all, "yesterday is gone and will never be back, tomorrow may never arrive, but today is a gift, that's why they call it the present".

And Bianca, my brave and courageous little girl, whilst we don't quite know when, the opportunity will come that you too will be able to go to school, have friends, spend carefree moments at home during school holidays. And I won't complain if you did make a mess, because I would find comfort that at least you would be home and not stuck in a lonely, isolated hospital room.